By Dave Johnson
William & Mary Athletics
 
Deidre Connelly has spent more than three decades in sport psychology. She's closer to the end of her career than the beginning, no matter how much she wishes otherwise.
 
The field has changed significantly since 1986, when Connelly received her PhD from the University of Virginia. It's changed since 1990, when she was hired as William & Mary's first sports psychology consultant.
 
The philosophies, the methods, and the willingness of athletes seek advice have all evolved. That has Connelly, who studied under sport psychology pioneer Bob Rotella at U.Va., wishing she was coming out of college again.
 
"It's cool now," Connelly said from what has become her home office in Williamsburg. "You're not telling people how to relax and go with the flow. You're teaching them how to handle everything, which then increases enjoyment and engagement. 
 
"When they get that sense of what we call coping confidence, that's a person who is more cool under pressure. That's a quarterback who can see the field when it's getting really tense or the goalkeeper who says 'bring it' when it's time for PKs."
 
Connelly pauses for a second and chuckles.
 
"I would love to start over and be at the beginning of my career," she said. "I'm still in love with it, which you can tell because I won't shut up."
 
Nor should she. 
 
A former athlete and coach, Connelly has been there. She understands the demands a student-athlete faces, particularly at a demanding institution. As a member of the university counseling center, she can help with stress management, test anxiety, and more serious issues.
 
"She's one of those secret weapons who if used can really elevate performance," said Erik Korem, senior associate athletics director for student-athlete high performance. "The resources and the expertise she provides on how to win between the ears, improving mental toughness and agility, is really amazing. 
 
"Honestly, I think she's underutilized. She does a lot of work, but with the expertise she provides, people should be lined up at her door all day long."
 
Part of success is the ability to accept failure. No matter how legendary the athlete — Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, Serena Williams — it's guaranteed to happen.
 
"It's about handling the next thing up because sport is unpredictable and emotional," Connelly said. "Ken Ravizza, one of the godfathers sports psych, that was his thing. How do we deal with what hits the fan today? 
 
"That's not anxiety provoking, like 'what can go wrong today?' That's what happens in sport, and we have to be able to adjust to unpredictable situations."
 
Connelly also speaks with coaches about how to address problems within their programs.
 
"I always stress to student-athletes when I'm giving a presentation, 'You're going to see me talking with your coach, but that doesn't mean we're talking about you,'" she said. "With my professional ethics, and that I work for the counseling center, it's confidential what student-athletes bring to my office.
 
"And it's confidential what coaches bring to my office. Always has been, always will be."
 
Growing up on Long Island, Connelly was an instant sports fan — Go Mets, Go Giants. At the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut, she played field hockey and lacrosse while majoring in health and physical education.
 
After graduation, she coached at the high school level. While earning her PhD at U.Va., she was an assistant lacrosse coach under Hall of Fame member Jane Miller. 
 
"Here I am in class at night with Bob Rotella and working during the day with Jane Miller," Connelly said. "Yeah, I've had a charmed life."
 
When Connelly came to William & Mary in 1990, not many athletic departments had a staff member who had been trained in sports psychology. She credits the late John Randolph, W&M's athletics director from 1985-95, for his "forward thinking."
 
Peel Hawthorne, William & Mary's field hockey coach when Connelly was hired, immediate relied on her guidance.
 
"So many times, I would walk into her office with no idea how to handle something," said Hawthorne, now a senior advisor to athletics, special projects. "I'd want to throw somebody off the team, or something like that, but she'd walk me back and give me the skills to find out what was really going on.
 
"And it's not just on-the-field stuff. Deaths in the family or something they're dealing with, Deidre is the first stop in trying to get help. She's the perfect liaison because she knows sports, she knows our athletes, and she knows how our counseling center works."
 
Four months after he was hired as W&M's football coach, Mike London faced a major crisis with the death of running back Nate Evans. Having Connelly on staff has helped the healing process.
 
"I've got a game plan for a lot of things on the field," London said. "There is no game plan for tragedies. We won't forget Nate, and we won't forget Bob Solderitch (a former assistant coach who died in April). The old saying of 'I'm good,' and pushing your feelings off to the side, that's dinosauric.
 
"The new way of knowing that you're not alone going through this, that's something the wellness center and Deidre helped by putting together a process. We're still dealing with it and having a strong mental health wellness support system is critical."
 
When London brings recruits to campus, Connelly and the wellness center are on his presentation agenda.
 
"It's what people don't want to talk about," he said. "But you know what? You need to. You'd better."